Met Kali didi (didi = elder sister) while staying at our uncle house in Andharmanick. Met her after a long time – around 10 years. She lives in Hakimpur – the river Sonai flows in front of their house – it’s the border of Bangladesh.  She talked about things that is happening at the border and also about her struggling life which is a story in itself.

From the very beginning – when she was studying in class 8 – her parents n relatives married her off to a man who was quite well off n good looking too. Nobody knew about his past life till a day or 2 before the marriage day. Everything was done and there was no way to step back from the marriage.

The man (with whom didi got married) had an affair with another girl. They loved each other from the time when they were very young. The girl was from a rich family n the man was not so well off then – so the girl’s family were against their marriage. The man worked hard and made some money – but then the girl refused to marry the man … (i guess – she was pressurized to say no otherwise why would she refuse  – she loved him since she was in class 3 and helped the man with money n other stuff …. so there was no reason for her to refuse – except pressurized to say no). Then this man got engaged to didi.

While they (the man n the girl) were going around  – the girl gave him a ring as a token of their love ….. before his marriage day the man wanted to return the ring  to her. So he gave it to his friend and returned the ring to her through him. The girl only said , “he is returning the ring only …. what about the other things i gave him – how will he return them”. and later she committed suicide.

After didi’s marriage , they lived quite happily for sometime. Then all of a sudden the man fell sick – he wouldn’t work and so wouldn’t earn living. They live in a joint family but when he fell sick …. his parents separated them from their joint family saying that didi is responsible for his ill health.

Didi asked for help from her relatives and all the other people she knew. She took him to many doctors – they all said that there is nothing wrong with him …. there is no illness in his body – but as the days went by his health deteriorated.

One night …. he seems to be have almost died. He was not breathing – there was no pulse n the body temperature began to fall too. She call for help – her mother in law was next door but didn’t respond. Didi hurriedly began to massage his hands n feet with oil. She also tried to give him some warm milk. After massaging his hands n feet for some hours – he all of a sudden gasped some air and said “oh Maa” (oh mother).

Most of the time they slept on the varanda …. Didi kept a large knife – holy book – broom – and a burning lamp at the beb side. For many nights  – she sat by his side while he slept …. one night while she was sitting by his bed side she saw a white shadow n heard a voice saying , “for how long will you continue to do this – you may save him today but one day i’ll take him away with me …. he is mine and u won’t be able to save him”.

Still now her husband screams at night … he too wanted to die. He says , “i want to see u suffer after i’m dead”. Didi says , ” fight when u r alive …. when u r dead – everything is over – there will be nothing  left to fight for”.

But now they both have aged …. and so he is dependent on her as he is always sick. She says she may die any day as she is herself ill (she is suffering from anemia – as long as she is taking medicine she is fine) … But still she is not afraid of dying anymore as her both sons are grownup n doing well.

Her whole life has been a struggle ….. struggle to survive n to fight for her rights. Didi’s name is Kali … according to Indian mythology – Goddess Kali is the Goddess of Strength. It seems as if the Goddess herself has given her the strength to flight n survive.